


Finesse

by jillyfae



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Free Verse, Friendship, Handcuffs, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Phone Sex, Romance, Vaginal Sex, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-17
Updated: 2013-03-17
Packaged: 2017-12-05 14:22:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/724295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jillyfae/pseuds/jillyfae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No matter what anyone else thinks, these two know they aren't fragile.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> original kink!meme prompt:
>
>>   
> "Jack/Joker. No, seriously! I wants it! *grabby hands* But I want it in a whole "she doesn't try to break him way."
>> 
>> Like maybe he actually manages to charm here with all his little jokes and stuff, and she actually realizes that she LIKES him, and shit, isn't that surprising? Cue some tender-type attempt at sexitiemz. One that doesn't end in TOO many broken bones. Please?"

"How do you fuck, gimp?"

"That your way of hitting on me, Jack?" Joker turned his chair to look over at the twitchy convict where she was audibly cracking her neck off to his side. "Why are you bothering me in my cockpit rather then lurking in your hole under engineering?"

"Bored," the woman shrugged, and Joker had to admit, if only to himself, that he really liked watching the way her tattoos moved and shifted across her skin.

_I miss that shoestring she used to wear. Left my imagination free to work on… other things…_ His eyes slid down to her heavy pants, the heels of her boots braced against the console she was using as a perch. _Why must the smoking hot ones always be fucking crazy? And why do I like the crazy? There is so something wrong with me._

"So?" Her sharp voice interrupted his wandering thoughts. "Stop eyeing me up and answer the question."

"Touchy. Why should I? I like the view. You've got great …" he paused briefly before shooting his glance back up at her face. "eyes. And just 'cause you're bored at 0300 doesn't mean I am."

Jack snorted, unimpressed by his almost-compliment. "Share, or I'll find something to do to your ship to cure my boredom."

"EDI'd never let you. She turns off all the consoles you keep sitting on, after all."

"Aw, smart-ass pilot's hiding behind the girly computer? Never thought you were shy, Joker."

"Not." Joker shrugged. "Just wondering why you always pick me to bother when you can't sleep. Sure that wasn't a proposition?"

"Jack-ass. You're just the only jerk besides Mordin who's always still awake. And while, besides the whole pilot gig you are mostly a waste of space, you are slightly more entertaining than the salarian, who keeps threatening to sing for me when I go in there. C'mon, I'll let you ask anything you like in return?"

"Damn, you are bored. Alright. I fuck like normal people. You don't have to slam someone against the wall as hard as possible to have a good time."

"Helps, though." Jack's grin was much softer than usual, but still edged with the promise of imminent violence.

_Fuck, why is that a turn-on? Bitch wouldn't even notice when she broke me into pieces._ "Only if you lack the proper finesse." Joker couldn't help a slightly arrogant grin, trying to see how far he could push. "Which I do not."

Jack jumped down from her console, landing with a loud thud on the metal deck-plates before leaning close in towards Joker's chair. "Keep telling yourself that, gimp. You just don't know what you're missing."

"Neither do you." Joker retorted instantly, unable to decide if he was relieved or disappointed that he hadn't manage to provoke more of a reaction than a glare.

She puckered up and blew him an oddly bitter kiss, before standing straight and crossing her arms across her chest. "Well?"

"Well what?" Joker widened his eyes innocently, barely avoiding smirking at her annoyed expression.

"What's your damn question?"

"You never mentioned a time limit, Jack. I think I'll wait. Find a more … opportune moment to ask what I want to know." He turned his chair back to the front, pretending their straight shot to the next Relay was suddenly deserving of his undivided attention.

"How do you know I'll still answer?" She sounded slightly surprised, which was an unusual enough occurrence it took all of Joker's admittedly slim reserve of self-control not to turn and admire her expression. _She really does have amazing eyes. And perfect little tits. And damn but do I want devour those lips… Not Helping._

Swallowing hard to make sure he sounded as light and unconcerned as usual, he waved a hand negligently through the air in her general direction. "Wouldn't be so annoyed at me if you weren't planning on holding up your end of the deal. You got too much style fo r that."

"Huh." _Hell yeah, I made her speechless. Point for Joker. Think she's still winning though. Damnit._ "You're either a lot nicer than you look, or even stupider. Which I didn't think was fucking possible."

"Ow. You've hurt my crippled little feelings." _Fuck yeah, I am getting to her. Which either means I'm a genius, or she's right, and I'm a goddamned moron. Really hope she's not right._

All he got in response was another snort, and he cracked and turned, just in time to catch her very fine ass swaggering away down the CIC towards the elevator. _Damn. Love to watch her leave. Hope she comes back again._

He was quite surprised when she did the very next night. And the one after that. And then every night for a week. She'd never been remotely that consistent before. She'd insult him, crack her knuckles, scuff up his floors and consoles with her heavy boots, and absolutely be the most entertaining part of his whole damn day.

And at some point she'd ask him to let loose with his question, and he'd refuse, and she'd snarl and stalk off. It was glorious. Though he was starting to have to take two cold showers a day just to recuperate. And he spent way too many nights imagining those fucking perfect lips wrapped around his cock. Still. He was making progress. And when she finally gave up, he'd coach his question as a dare. Ask her to let him prove that fucking his way could be glorious. And hope she didn't kill him. _Unless she takes me up on it, and that kills me. Probably be worth it._

* * *

 _How the fuck did I agree to this?_ Jack looked up at her hands, wrists wrapped in dull silver metal, the chain between them wrapped around a pipe above the head of her cot.

"Now, I know you could break those no problem." Her gaze shifted to the man standing next to her, the one who'd somehow made this sound like a good idea. _With his stupid jokes and wandering eyes and always being willing to talk to me in the middle of the night. Fuck. I'm getting soft._ "They're just a reminder. Not to shove as hard as you can, so you don't break me too. Got it?" His eyes narrowed, and she was surprised to realize he had a damn fine glare, all green and hot and scowling.

Her mouth opened the slightest bit, her tongue flicking out to touch her lips as she realized she was getting _hot_. She saw his jaw clench, his eyes focused on her mouth, but he didn't move, and she realized belatedly he was actually waiting for her response.

"Fuck yeah, gimp. I agreed to the rules. I don't slam, you prove finesse is worth it. Winner gets bragging rights. Or can request a repeat performance. Whip it out."

Joker's slow smile was remarkably calculating, and she had trouble stopping herself from spreading her legs, or rocking her hips, or doing something else way the fuck too close to encouragement. "Whipping it out would defeat the whole purpose, Jack." He slowly climbed onto the bed, moving carefully until his face was a hair's breadth away from hers. "Now shut up while I get to work."

His mouth dropped to hers, and she closed her eyes in surprise at the slow, gentle way he kissed her, just lips pressing against hers. As time passed, she was equally surprised to discover she could feel herself slow, her body growing warm and heavy, when he still hadn't even gone so far as to slip her his tongue.

And then he did, and she pulled slightly at her cuffs, lifting her head up to push harder against his mouth, sliding her tongue up into his mouth as well. She was getting fucking wet already, and the man hadn't even touched her yet, just his mouth and tongue tangling with hers, and the slight rasp of his beard against her cheeks and chin.

She tried to lift her hips up towards his body, and he instantly bit her bottom lip, hard, before lifting his head and clicking his tongue at her. "Patience, Jack. Patience."

Jack growled softly, trying to catch his lip to bite him back, but he avoided her, instead moving his head up her jawline to her ear, his mouth creating a hot wet trail down her neck to the top to her collarbone. And then he was shifting slightly above her, and there was a hand cradling her breast through her tank-top, and fingers teasing a nipple and a mouth sucking on the other one, the fabric damp and rubbing against her skin as his tongue stroked her. She growled again, muscles tightening low in her gut as her back arched up into the pressure.

He nipped encouragingly at her breast when she moved, before lifting his head back to her mouth. "Gorgeous lips, Jack," he murmured. "Shame not to give them some more attention."

This time he wasn't remotely gentle, lips firm, teeth clashing, and tongue forced deep in her mouth, and he didn't pull away when she finally got her own teeth into him.

_Damn pilot tastes good._

Jack started to pull her hands down, planning on grabbing his head and shoving him right where she wanted, but the clink of metal reminded her of their bet, and his bones, and she let herself fall back down against the cot as the kiss eventually slowed.

"Good job, Jack," Joker whispered in her ear, and she felt a shiver down her spine as his teeth found her neck, the gentle nibble causing nerves to hum all over her body in anticipation.

"Haven't won yet, jack-ass," she snarled, "and I'm not about to break the rules and forfeit."

"Glad to hear it." He lifted his head, and had the nerve to wink at her. "I'm going to win fair and square.

Jack snorted at him, then gasped as he tweaked a breast. _Fucker probably will win at this rate_

He shifted down, his hands cool against her hips as he dropped one soft kiss at the gap between her tank and her underwear. His hands slid up the barest millimeter, fabric bunching up as he lifted her shirt, and his tongue moved against her skin, slow and steady and warm and wet and hot and soothing all at the same time. His torturously slow trip across her stomach stopped next to her navel to give her another kiss, and then he moved sideways, and she realized he was tracing her tattoos. He paused for another kiss, then back to tracing with his tongue, hands moving smoothly against the skin of her sides, just barely firm enough not to tickle, thumbs stroking softly back and forth.

Her hands were clenching around each other over and over, blue sparks snapping between her fingers, muscles twitching as his beard rubbed against them, desperately trying to keep herself still, the low groan in the back of her throat slowly rising higher in pitch until she was gasping, eyes closed and head tilted back, heels flexing against the cot to pull her body as taut under him as possible.

Finally, _finally_ , a year or so later, her shirt stopped just under her arms, nipples hard and free in the cool air for an instant before they were covered again, one as he palmed her entire breast, the other surrounded by the heat of his mouth.

And then there were teeth, and fingers pinching and rolling, and sparks in front of her eyes as she felt the tugging on her tits all the way through her cunt, and she moaned loudly enough she could feel it echo off the walls around them.

"Fucking hell, Joker, stop being such a goddamned tease."

"Since you asked so nicely." He gave her nipple one last lick, and then started scattering kisses on his way back down her torso.

_Bastard's laughing at me…_ Jack turned her head to glare down at him, and was instead forced to shift her gaze to the ceiling as she ignored a suspicious flutter in the vague vicinity of her heart. Joker was kissing her scars. He'd found them, all of them, hidden though they were by her tattoos, and was… _what, kissing them better? Fuck that, I don't need anyone else to make them better._

She refused to admit, out-loud at least, that it felt nice that he'd noticed. Or bothered. Or whatever the fuck it was he thought he was doing. _Jerk._

Luckily, his hands had reached her hips, and the feel of his lips chasing her underwear down her legs as he took them off successfully distracted her away from vaguely sentimental back to ridiculously fucking horny in about half a second.

* * *

Joker could not get enough of Jack's skin. It was gorgeous, taut and hot to the touch, and it smelled of ink and metal and ozone and sex. She tasted like lightning.

Muscles twitched under his lips and fingers, her legs stretched and rubbed against the sheet below them, and he could feel her moans vibrating through her chest and up into his mouth as her entire body responded to every little thing he did. She'd pull on her cuffs, lifting her body up, and he knew she wanted _more_ , and was restraining herself because he'd asked her to. It was obviously _(definitely had to be)_ out of pride because of their bet, not because she actually liked him or anything, but it was still intoxicating, and damn, he'd take what he could get.

And holy fucking hell but she had the best legs he'd ever seen, now that he'd finally gotten her out of those heavy pants and boots. Strong, and long, and luscious, the tattoos winding around and around all the way down to her toes.

Plus she was ticklish behind her knees. That was delightfully unexpected.

Though he didn't play with her legs nearly as long as he'd originally intended. He was starting to see sparks in front of his eyes and wasn't completely sure if it was some unknown but spectacular biotic side-effect to arousal or if he was hallucinating because all the blood in his body had fled to his dick, which was quite possibly harder than it had been in, oh, a decade, but damn it all to hell if he was going to take his pants off before he'd made her scream.

Her back arched again when he stuck his tongue inside her, her heels pounding against the bed as she groaned, but she wasn't there yet. He stroked her walls with his tongue, swallowing as his mouth filled with rich, thick juice. He was the one who'd gotten her so wet, so hot, so perfectly fucking delicious, and he moaned along with her as her muscles tightened around him.

Keeping his movements as slow and st eady as possible was getting more and more difficult, the sparks behind his eyes starting to turn to dancing black spots, but the gasp when he slowly pulled his tongue out and slid it up to her clit was absolutely worth it. He started softly, barely teasing her, then started licking around and over and around and over, adding just a bit more pressure each time.

Shifting his weight carefully, _be really fucking embarrassing to give my wrist a pressure fracture right about now_ , he moved one hand under his chin until he could slide a finger inside her, his tongue still busy caressing her again and again.

The combination was _almost_ too much for the woman beneath him, as he heard her breathing turn into heavy pants, but she held herself back. _Not going to get to do that, Jack…_ He pulled his hand back, and then shoved two fingers back in, gently closing his teeth around her at the exact same time.

Blue flared in front of his eyes, almost blinding him, muscles clenching around his fingers, under his mouth, her body tensing tighter than ever before collapsing with an apparently boneless grace against the bed, and he almost lost all control, his dick jerking in his pants at the _sound_ , a cross between a growl and a scream, clawing its way out of her throat to his ears.

"Fuck yeah, Joker…"

* * *

 _Fuck, I've so lost this bet, and I don't even think he's done yet._ Feeling the quiver of an aftershock from a damn fine orgasm work its way through her body, Jack turned her gaze towards the man settled between her legs down at the bottom of the bed, grudgingly planning on admitting defeat before she got distracted by the view.

_He managed to free his dick while I wasn't paying attention… that is some damn fine eye-candy, nice and thick, standing at attention…_ She smiled in anticipation, letting her gaze linger before working her way back up to his face, his green eyes just waiting to capture her attention. Joker smiled at her, a smug arrogant sort-of smirk, before shifting forward, burying his cock inside her.

She flung her head back, vision going dark around the edges as she almost came again, groaning as he slowly pulled himself back out, teasing right at her edges before slowly pushing part way back in, and then out. And again, an d again, and again, never quite hard enough, fast enough, deep enough to get her off, but more than enough to feel fucking spectacular.

"God-damnit, just fuck me already!" Jack growled, trying to ignore an embarrassingly strong inclination to whimper at him in desperation.

"That would," Joker panted back softly, "defeat," he paused, head bowed, arms quivering as he held himself still, his cock torturously positioned with just the tip of its head inside her, "the whole purpose, now wouldn't it?" He found her mouth for one long, slow kiss, and she could taste herself between his lips, on his tongue, and she hummed in the back of her throat, pleased to have claimed him so thoroughly, hands and mouth and tongue and cock, all full of her, her taste, her smell.

And then he pulled up, shifting his weight to pull all the way out, abandoning her body for an instant before teasing her again, his body just an inch too far away. She could feel the faintest of shakes through the muscles of his legs when they rubbed against hers, she knew, _knew_ , he was going to break soon, but damn it all to hell, she couldn't take it anymore.

With a snarl, she flared blue around her hands, sparks dancing through the air, and yanked her hands down, snapping the chain that had been holding them up. She kept her hands moving straight down until she could reach his ass, grabbing it as she tilted her hips and shoved up. _Not too hard now, just enough to… yes…_

She groaned in satisfaction as her thighs rubbed against his hips, his cock wonderfully deep, filling her up, hitting just the right spot far inside. She heard him grunt in reaction, but he didn't seem to be in pain, and she hadn't felt or heard anything crack, so she did it again, rocking her hips back and up again, her second groan even louder as her hands clenched, holding him right where she wanted him for a moment before she did it a third time, then a fourth, forgetting the bet, her rules _don't get too close, never get too close,_ luxuriating in every inch of him, friction in all the right places, panting and growling as she set their new pace, until she felt her muscles start to clench, and the heat spread from deep under her gut out through her limbs until her fingertips and toes tingled, her breath caught, her eyes dimmed, and then the wave reached her brain and everything stopped, her ears barely noticing the groan from Joker, her body barely noticing the heat between her legs as he followed her over the edge into an instant of glorious, perfect, oblivion.

"Goddamnit, Joker," she wheezed when she'd mostly gotten her breath back, "I don't think I can move."

"Good," he grunted, his head resting on her chest between her tits, his arms and legs sprawled across her. "Me neither."

"Try. You're heavy."

"Wimp."

Jack blew her breath out in a huff, but it was too much effort to argue with him. And he wasn't actually all that heavy. _Feels kinda nice actually. Fuck, am I cuddling? Shit, what's wrong with me? Stupid pilot, all sneaky nice and good at the fucking._ "So, which you gonna take?"

"Huh?" Joker lifted his head slightly to glance up at her.

"You won. You get bragging rights. Or determining if, when, and where you want a repeat. Whachya gonna do?"

"Oh, that." Joker shrugged slightly before his head settled back down on her chest. "I concede."

"What?" Jack surged up until she was balanced on her elbows, forcing Joker to scramble backward until he was up and kneeling between her legs again, blinking at her with a slightly bemused expression at the sudden movement. "I broke the rules! And you fucking won before that, anyways, why the hell are you conceding?"

"Jack. I'm not about to make you fuck me if you don't want to, however much I'd like the chance to spend more time with you. I'm not a total jack-ass." He shrugged as she scowled at him. "Figured the bet gave you an excuse to fool around without worrying about my intentions."

"And what are your intentions, then, jack-ass?"

The pilot had the nerve to roll his eyes at her. "Jack. I like you. Every time you come up to visit me in the cockpit I spend the entire time half-aroused and half-terrified, but you are never boring, and it's usually the best part of my day." He paused slightly as she gaped at him. "And the fact that you came up to visit so often gave me the probably foolish hope that I, at the very least, amused you rather than disgusted you. However, I routinely like people who can break me into bits, so my intentions are simply to avoid provoking you into smashing me. And, well, convincing you to fuck me as often as possible would be a nice bonus."

Some deeply buried emotional part of her brain took over before she could help it, and Jack felt herself smiling at him in, what, surprise? Agreement? _What the hell, might as well see what happens, right?_ "Huh. Could get on board with that one."

"Really?" Joker almost squawked in surprise, before grinning back at her. "Glad to hear it, beautiful crazy lady." He leaned forward and gave her a quick peck on the cheek, before slithering back and standing up, slowly putting himself and his clothes to rights. "And on that positive note, I'm leaving before you change your mind. See you at dinner."

Jack sat for a moment in silence after he left. _Damn. Who knew? Beautiful crazy lady._ Then, cool metal sliding down her wrist as she lifted one hand to touch her cheek, still feeling the phantom touch of his lips, she smiled again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I got an anonymous request on tumblr: "Jack/Joker sequel, ME3ish, phone/video sex since Jack isn’t aboard" and failed to write prose for it. Hopefully nonny likes free verse?

an ache in the heart  
between the legs  
  
pretend it’s only the second  
  
 _fuck you_  
  
 _that’s kind-of the point, isn’t it?_  
  
lust  
desire  
maybe friends  
the slide of flesh  
warm and slick  
sweat and sex  
  
she tastes like lightning  
  
he wants her  
  
every morning  
he wonders where she is  
he pictures the way the lights trace her hips  
her breasts  
  
the point of her chin when she wakes up  
and lifts her head  
cocky  
even when half asleep  
  
he misses her eyes  
her lips  
the heat of her laugh  
that always sends shivers through his gut  
  
the curve of her mouth when she smiles  
the flare of her nose when she breathes  
the shift of her shoulders when she thinks  
  
he’s hard as a rock  
trying to remember how she smells  
skin and ink  
her rage so thick he can taste it  
the lust that replaces it so sweet it makes him shake  
  
he could lose himself in her skin  
her voice  
rich  
warm  
loud  
sharp edged  
swearing

soft whispers that no one else hears  
even better than the lust  
the quiet  
  
so rare  
so soft  
a tilt of her head  
her lashes brush against her cheeks  
her words lazy as they both relax  
  
sometimes she lets him watch her sleep  
  
and he can no longer pretend  
that his heart is not involved  
  
only now she’s gone  
and he never said  
  
tried so hard to hide   
from himself  
from her  
afraid she’d leave  
  
she left anyways  
  
he thinks  
perhaps  
she didn’t want to  
but he doesn’t know  
doesn’t know how to ask  
  
wants to beg  
  
she wouldn’t want him to beg  
  
but maybe  
if they could talk  
  
she’d let him

play her his favorite song  
ask about her day  
tell her about his  
  
and she’d let him watch the way her eyes shift  
when she talks about poetry  
half embarrassed  
half delighted  
trying to capture words  
that never quite mean  
what they should  
  
but sometimes they’re more  
than he ever imagined  
  
and he can feel the thud of her heart  
as she fights  
and falls   
and stands  
and fights again  
  
and he wishes he knew how to say  
  
I miss you  
I’m waiting for you  
  
come back to me  
(but only if you want to)  
  
I love you  
  
I will do my best  
to help you  
  
always be free  
  
but he doesn’t even know where she is  
  
instead  
  
one day  
  
she calls  
her voice traveling across the stars  
the mirror of her eyes  
dark and uncertain  
a flicker in the transmission  
  
and he places his hand beside her image  
and tries to remember how to breathe  
  
and his forehead rests against the screen  
and he pretends  
that he can feel the heat of her skin  
  
always so hot  
she burns  
this lady  
hotter than fire  
harder than ice  
sharp as glass  
and twice as fragile  
  
though she’ll kill you before you notice  
  
and he wants to kiss her lips  
and feel her cheek beneath his palm  
and her tits against his chest  
  
he wants her naked  
  
he wants her heart  
to want him back  
  
but all he has is the cool press of plastic against his skin  
and her laugh in his ears  
and her sigh  
  
he opens his eyes  
she’s leaning against her screen  
he could count her eyelashes  
so close

so far  
eyes wide  
and dark  
  
and damp  
  
she blinks  
her smile is sweet for once  
not quite soft  
  
no edge of fear  
or rage  
  
strength  
and maybe sorrow  
  
 _miss you too, fucker_  
  
 _gonna whip it out flyboy?_  
  
 _why’d you think I called, to blow you a kiss?_  
  
 _I need to get laid_  
  
 _I want you_  
  
(just you)  
she doesn’t say it,   
doesn’t need to,   
he can tell  
  
she could get laid anywhere  
if that was all she wanted  
  
but instead she’s alone  
except for him  
the flicker of their screens  
orange and blue  
  
the rasp of his voice  
as he asks to see her  
  
the lift of her chin as she leans back  
  
the smile as his breath catches at the view  
skin and ink  
nipples taut beneath her fingers

the moan as she watches his clothes hit the floor  
  
the curve of her spine when her hands slide down her stomach  
her legs spread  
her fingers push inside  
  
his hips lift  
his hand around his cock  
  
she fucks herself  
the push of her wrist  
the twist of her hand  
  
he rocks his hips,  
his fingers squeeze  
and tug  
  
their timing is perfect, each lift, each push, each shift  
  
he wants her breasts between his lips  
he wants to scrape his teeth along her neck  
he wants to touch her  
  
he tells her this  
she swears  
she shudders  
her eyes close  
  
her voice is rough   
his name between her lips  
her breath a ragged counterpoint  
as her body clenches  
  
he remembers how she feels around him when she comes  
tight  
and wet  
and hot  
and the way her hips roll when the first flush of orgasm passes  
  
he spills across his fingers  
his legs  
drips upon the floor  
  
he doesn't even notice  
  
he’s too busy now  
the shudder of his breath  
the ache in his gut easing  
  
watching her stretch  
watching her body ease as she curls up into her chair  
watching the light of her screen  
his reflection  
catch in her eyes as she looks back at him  
  
he wants to lick the sweat from the hollow of her throat  
  
even now he wants more  
  
he lifts his hand  
licks his fingers clean  
  
she laughs  
almost lightly  
  
 _you think you’re up for a round two?_  
  
always  
  
she licks her lips  
she strokes her skin  
  
she talks   
offering the soft scrape of fingernails down his chest  
promising  
to lick him clean  
to suck him deep  
to roll his balls between her lips  
to lick and taste and swallow

he can barely talk  
barely think  
hard again  
begging  
 _yes_  
 _please_  
 _god_  
 _Jack_  
  
she likes this sort of begging

her whole body rocking against her hand  
her chair squeaking beneath her  
blue flickering along her skin  
in her eyes  
  
he remembers the feel of it  
static tingling against his skin

his hands do not compare to hers  
to the feel of her lips  
and tongue  
and teeth

but he does his best  
  
and she keeps talking  
her voice tightening  
a stutter of words as her body curves

_almost there_

he can’t talk at all now  
wordless  
loud  
a groan  
a shout  
heat beneath his skin  
pressure building  
 _fuck yes_  
muscles tight  
eyes closed  
too good  
too close  
  
he listens to her shout as he falls apart,  
long and shuddering  
  
his stomach is tacky  
his muscles weak and loose  
his head rolled back against the wall behind him  
  
he needs a shower  
or at least a towel  
but he’s afraid to stand  
afraid she’ll leave  
  
so instead he listens to her breathe  
  
she stays  
  
he never thought she’d stay  
  
he talks  
Shepard  
House Arrest  
the Normandy  
  
she talks  
Alliance  
teaching  
  
 _they let me near children, what the fuck are they thinking right?_  
  
 _you can do anything you set your mind to, babe_  
  
he hears the things she doesn’t say  
a chance to protect  
not destroy  
  
he’s so proud of her  
he hopes she can see it in his smile  
he hopes she hears all the things he doesn’t say  
  
he thinks she does  
just like he hears her heart in the shift of her hands  
  
 _I need someone who isn’t afraid of my nightmares_  
 _who I can trust to watch me sleep_  
 _but you’re not here_  
 _and yet you are_  
 _aren’t you?_  
  
he never made her promises  
too many people had broken their word  
he couldn’t do that to her  
no matter how much   
he wanted to keep them  
  
no matter how much  
he felt them   
in the silences between their words  
  
he loved  
  
Love stays with you  
even if you don’t say the words out loud


End file.
